Ok, this was such a good read Sogole!! Loved it. As I was reading it, I was like “oh yea like THAT JV necklace” and of course you mentioned it 😂
which I just wore last week and still love btw and had a similar thought running through my mind. Ive worn in big cities and small towns all over and haven’t once seen anyone wearing it and I still get asked about it.
The internet is not our only world! Just in the same way that wearing it can make me actually look off-trend if I live somewhere where it’s cool to wear fleeces and blundstones (?)
And it’s ok to like trends if you genuinely like them (or continue to wear them after they are deemed “not cool”)…isn’t the fun part of fashion the art of discovery and wearing things that make you genuinely happy inside?!
In real life, when I find out a friend shops at Leset or knows who Tom Ford is, it’s like a kindred spirits bonding moment. Meanwhile in this corner of the internet, Leset is mainstream and Tom Ford is, ya know, TOM FORD! So this analog algo absolutely tracks and has my wheels spinning. Don’t mind me commenting a second time, I just really enjoyed this piece. Xx
It’s so true. When I come across someone who loves fashion the way I do IRL it’s like a revelation. This is why we love Substack so much- we are all of the same mindset! But … it’s also not our day to day reality (sadlyyyyy)
THIS "The point is to stop outsourcing our taste-making to an algorithm that has no idea who we are, where we live, or what our lives actually look like."
Sometimes I'll see a trend online that absolutely cannot fit into my daily reality BUT the more insidious side is when I worry that by buying THE thing I see everyone wearing, everyone will *know.* But no one *knows.* No one cares if I'm wearing something trend forward if it genuinely fits in my life! The same way that all the Colorado moms wearing Uggs after the recent snow doesn't make me bat an eye; we need them!!
Exactly!! What matters most is how we feel in what we are wearing and if it makes us happy/function/warm- whatever-then it’s great for our daily context. Chances are Sally down the road will have no idea 17161 girls online are obsessing about the item!
Wait, I got too excited and needed to touch down on one other thing. That West Village girl article really did a number on us because, ultimately, isn't the West Village Uniform actually a very good outfit for 99% of contexts?! Sort of ironic that it was the algorithm that probably made the outfit and told us the outfit is "bad."
I love how your mind works. There are totally some funny disconnects in my own life between what feels stylish online vs. what feels stylish in South Florida. The weather makes it even more pronounced! I do find taste to be a universal language though. And perhaps I'm biased, but I think Substack is where more and more women are flocking because a lot of the good taste lives here.
💯- we are all speaking the same language here. Which is so lovely and a big part of the appeal. But it’s also good to remember that sometimes we might need a pocket translator when we are out in “the real world” 😉😝
I feel this so much and talk about this with my friends all the time!! They’ll send me something and ask if they should buy it, and I’m like nooo that’s been all over my feed for months. And they’re genuinely confused because they’ve never seen it. It’s always a reminder to me of how concentrated our little corners of the internet are and how it is NOT the real world.
And this also comes up constantly in client sessions too. A client will love a piece and then suddenly not want to wear it because they’re “seeing it everywhere”. The Juju necklace is such a good example of that!And I always say that’s crazy if you love it, wear it. I have more respect for people who continue to wear things when it’s ‘past’ the peak moment. And every time that conversation happens with a client it’s a reminder for myself as well!
Reva- exactly. It’s so funny how our online world might dictate how we might show up IRL when in reality- they can be quite disconnected from each other. The amount of times I’ve been wearing that necklace and someone goes “oh cool necklace is it vintage?” No one in my day-to-day knows what Juju is and the online lore behind it!
Wow. Wow wow wow. You really captured and flawlessly put into words a very important factor we should all have in the back of our minds as we navigate developing our own personal style. As someone who lives in Jersey City (just across the river from Manhattan, yet a very different style landscape) who frequently goes into Manhattan for work/social outings, I feel like my context is bifurcated. Something too “on the nose” in the West Village would be absolutely on its own planet in my neighborhood in JC. I definitely find myself toeing the line a bit in that regard. And I absolutely am chronically online, so I also have to constantly remind myself to zoom out there too.
I’m going to be revisiting this post when I need to touch grass. Thank you for putting this puzzle together for us all :)
I always think about the “city adjacent” crew aka those who live just outside and commute in etc. It must be so interesting - almost like a split screen. Which is so funny bc they’re so “close” to each other geographically yet worlds apart when it comes to context…!
I was only a couple paragraphs in when I knew I needed a proper sit down to enjoy this one. This essay is a shining example of why I look up to you as a writer. You make me want to be better! I especially loved the point you made at the end (mic drop). And man, I miss those Monterey moms. Really well done, my friend. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Fashion should be fun! That’s my mantra. I also remind myself that most people are too busy with their own lives to pay attention to everyone else’s. And I pressure test that by challenging myself to remember what someone was wearing when! I usually can’t (and it’s my partially my job to pay attention)! Lovely piece, Sogole, and a great reflection with which to start the new year.
It’s all self inflicted. I keep coming back to “no one is thinking about you” - which is so true and so freeing. Wear the trend! Don’t wear the trend! It doesn’t matter at all so long as WE feel good.
100% yes! That’s exactly what I was gonna say, but I didn’t want to sound harsh in the comments ha ha ha but yes, no one is thinking about you! I find it so incredibly freeing!
I’m about to make a bold statement: I think this might be my favorite post you’ve written so far—which is hard to say, because I genuinely love your work. No notes.
Context! Context! context! Loved this so much!!! Also I think I need to have the phrases, “who would even know” and “who cares” printed and stuck to my mirror so I don’t have a melt down over my outfit when I feel the stakes are high (they never are)
This was such a good read! It really captured the constant back and forth I have as a “country mouse.” I’m always questioning what to wear and buy, flicking between is this too trendy, has it been overdone, and will this actually work for where I live? Are people in Tesco even paying attention to what I’m wearing?
And honestly, the answer is always no! But there’s still that fine line between caring about fashion and just wearing what you want versus what actually works. So thank you for this, it’s nice to be reminded that it’s not just me 🫶🏻
This could literally be in Vogue or The Cut. LOVED is an understatement!!!
Gushing and blushing THANK YOU! Xoxo
♥️♥️♥️
Can I fourth this comment?! I’m bookmarking this to keep coming back to Sogole. Room temp butter is the mantra of the year 🧈
Like we like butter. It’s yummy. But I don’t want it too cold or melted…🤣
Was going to say the same thing!!!
😘😘
AGREED
Ok, this was such a good read Sogole!! Loved it. As I was reading it, I was like “oh yea like THAT JV necklace” and of course you mentioned it 😂
which I just wore last week and still love btw and had a similar thought running through my mind. Ive worn in big cities and small towns all over and haven’t once seen anyone wearing it and I still get asked about it.
The internet is not our only world! Just in the same way that wearing it can make me actually look off-trend if I live somewhere where it’s cool to wear fleeces and blundstones (?)
And it’s ok to like trends if you genuinely like them (or continue to wear them after they are deemed “not cool”)…isn’t the fun part of fashion the art of discovery and wearing things that make you genuinely happy inside?!
Angie- EXACTLY! Context is everything and even more critical than context is just wearing whatever speaks to us- whenever and wherever we are!
Thank you so much for reading and for the thoughtful comment!
In real life, when I find out a friend shops at Leset or knows who Tom Ford is, it’s like a kindred spirits bonding moment. Meanwhile in this corner of the internet, Leset is mainstream and Tom Ford is, ya know, TOM FORD! So this analog algo absolutely tracks and has my wheels spinning. Don’t mind me commenting a second time, I just really enjoyed this piece. Xx
It’s so true. When I come across someone who loves fashion the way I do IRL it’s like a revelation. This is why we love Substack so much- we are all of the same mindset! But … it’s also not our day to day reality (sadlyyyyy)
THIS "The point is to stop outsourcing our taste-making to an algorithm that has no idea who we are, where we live, or what our lives actually look like."
Sometimes I'll see a trend online that absolutely cannot fit into my daily reality BUT the more insidious side is when I worry that by buying THE thing I see everyone wearing, everyone will *know.* But no one *knows.* No one cares if I'm wearing something trend forward if it genuinely fits in my life! The same way that all the Colorado moms wearing Uggs after the recent snow doesn't make me bat an eye; we need them!!
Exactly!! What matters most is how we feel in what we are wearing and if it makes us happy/function/warm- whatever-then it’s great for our daily context. Chances are Sally down the road will have no idea 17161 girls online are obsessing about the item!
Wait, I got too excited and needed to touch down on one other thing. That West Village girl article really did a number on us because, ultimately, isn't the West Village Uniform actually a very good outfit for 99% of contexts?! Sort of ironic that it was the algorithm that probably made the outfit and told us the outfit is "bad."
Bingo!! Context is everything.
I love how your mind works. There are totally some funny disconnects in my own life between what feels stylish online vs. what feels stylish in South Florida. The weather makes it even more pronounced! I do find taste to be a universal language though. And perhaps I'm biased, but I think Substack is where more and more women are flocking because a lot of the good taste lives here.
💯- we are all speaking the same language here. Which is so lovely and a big part of the appeal. But it’s also good to remember that sometimes we might need a pocket translator when we are out in “the real world” 😉😝
I feel this so much and talk about this with my friends all the time!! They’ll send me something and ask if they should buy it, and I’m like nooo that’s been all over my feed for months. And they’re genuinely confused because they’ve never seen it. It’s always a reminder to me of how concentrated our little corners of the internet are and how it is NOT the real world.
And this also comes up constantly in client sessions too. A client will love a piece and then suddenly not want to wear it because they’re “seeing it everywhere”. The Juju necklace is such a good example of that!And I always say that’s crazy if you love it, wear it. I have more respect for people who continue to wear things when it’s ‘past’ the peak moment. And every time that conversation happens with a client it’s a reminder for myself as well!
Reva- exactly. It’s so funny how our online world might dictate how we might show up IRL when in reality- they can be quite disconnected from each other. The amount of times I’ve been wearing that necklace and someone goes “oh cool necklace is it vintage?” No one in my day-to-day knows what Juju is and the online lore behind it!
Thank you so much for reading xx
Okay I just had to look up the juju necklace 😆
One of my faves!
Totally. Great piece sogole!
Wow. Wow wow wow. You really captured and flawlessly put into words a very important factor we should all have in the back of our minds as we navigate developing our own personal style. As someone who lives in Jersey City (just across the river from Manhattan, yet a very different style landscape) who frequently goes into Manhattan for work/social outings, I feel like my context is bifurcated. Something too “on the nose” in the West Village would be absolutely on its own planet in my neighborhood in JC. I definitely find myself toeing the line a bit in that regard. And I absolutely am chronically online, so I also have to constantly remind myself to zoom out there too.
I’m going to be revisiting this post when I need to touch grass. Thank you for putting this puzzle together for us all :)
I always think about the “city adjacent” crew aka those who live just outside and commute in etc. It must be so interesting - almost like a split screen. Which is so funny bc they’re so “close” to each other geographically yet worlds apart when it comes to context…!
Thank you for reading Xoxox
Honestly brilliant. Room temp butter ftw 🧈
With the best French bread only, please 😉 thank you Maurene!
I was only a couple paragraphs in when I knew I needed a proper sit down to enjoy this one. This essay is a shining example of why I look up to you as a writer. You make me want to be better! I especially loved the point you made at the end (mic drop). And man, I miss those Monterey moms. Really well done, my friend. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Oh my. Blushing over here. Thank you so much Elin. I’m glad this resonated! I cannot wait for the next season of BLL!
This is so intelligent in its approach and how it’s written - very impressed!
That means the world especially coming from you Zara! Thank you x
this is a READ! it’s the thing we’ve all been feeling but you’ve put it into words. Bravo friend, what a piece.
Thank you so much Jordyn!
Fashion should be fun! That’s my mantra. I also remind myself that most people are too busy with their own lives to pay attention to everyone else’s. And I pressure test that by challenging myself to remember what someone was wearing when! I usually can’t (and it’s my partially my job to pay attention)! Lovely piece, Sogole, and a great reflection with which to start the new year.
It’s all self inflicted. I keep coming back to “no one is thinking about you” - which is so true and so freeing. Wear the trend! Don’t wear the trend! It doesn’t matter at all so long as WE feel good.
100% yes! That’s exactly what I was gonna say, but I didn’t want to sound harsh in the comments ha ha ha but yes, no one is thinking about you! I find it so incredibly freeing!
I’m about to make a bold statement: I think this might be my favorite post you’ve written so far—which is hard to say, because I genuinely love your work. No notes.
Traci thank you!! That is a WOW compliment. Means the world!!
Context! Context! context! Loved this so much!!! Also I think I need to have the phrases, “who would even know” and “who cares” printed and stuck to my mirror so I don’t have a melt down over my outfit when I feel the stakes are high (they never are)
“Who cares” is the 2026 mantra. Context - and caring about what feels good to us in our real environments- is the only way! Thank you Charu xx
This was such a good read! It really captured the constant back and forth I have as a “country mouse.” I’m always questioning what to wear and buy, flicking between is this too trendy, has it been overdone, and will this actually work for where I live? Are people in Tesco even paying attention to what I’m wearing?
And honestly, the answer is always no! But there’s still that fine line between caring about fashion and just wearing what you want versus what actually works. So thank you for this, it’s nice to be reminded that it’s not just me 🫶🏻
It’s ALL of us. It’s even those who do live in big cities bc ultimately we define our own context not only by where we live, but by how we show up.
I’m so glad this helped remind that you should wear whatever you want to Tesco!! ♥️
FINALLY got to read this after recovering from my trip. So many great insights and agree with what @wantd says above. Could absolutely be in Vogue!!
Thank you friend xx