The First Draft

Of a post. Of an outfit. Of a feeling.

If you’ll indulge me for just a brief moment today, I want to start off today’s letter by talking about writing.

Writing has always been the thing that brought me alive. For as long as I can remember, I’ve turned to writing as a form of self care. Writing has helped me process life events, connect with people, see things more clearly, and feel at home within myself. It’s my preferred form of therapy, and it always makes me feel or see something new.

Writing is also what drew me to Substack in the first place. The reason I never put much into other platforms is bc they were largely visual, and I’ve always felt largely verbal. Sure, I love beautiful imagery as much as the next person, but it’s words that move me the most.

I started this newsletter as a way to connect with others, express myself and share my love—and knowledge of—my lifelong love affair with fashion. And it’s been an incredible journey. One that has brought me to places I never dreamed.

But the one unexpected place it has started to lead me as of late is towards self-doubt, confusion, and an overall lack of clarity in my voice, at times. As this platform evolves, and more voices join the dialogue, so too does the focus sometimes seem to shift from writing to the visual. More and more of the letters I read here as of late seem like Instagram posts with a few words baked in between. A format that—in all honesty—I’ve debated deploying myself. But keep resisting no matter which way the tide is going.

To be clear—I adore a diary-style newsletter, with imagery and brief snippets of updates from fellow writers. So much so, that I’ve tried to go down this path, too, at times. And yet, I keep coming back to honoring my voice, leaning into the type of writing I’ve always enjoyed here: exploratory, conceptual, practical, and (hopefully) a little thought-provoking. It seems I am incapable—no matter how hard I try—to write a first draft and move on. I’m always pushing myself to do more, edit one more time, take another pass, add an extra section, dig deeper into an idea, go the extra mile. Why can’t I let the first pass be the final pass? Why does everything always have to be orchestrated, perfected and wrapped up in a neat bow?

These very thoughts have been circling in my head at the same time I’ve been viscerally responding to an aesthetic in fashion I can only call “The Dishabille,” a term which originates from 17th century French and implies being only partially, carelessly, or informally dressed—but not in an ‘intentionally effortless’ kind of way; rather in an undone, slightly unfinished, insouciant way. (The French really are masters at vocabulary that conveys NGAF.)

various states of dress

There is something in the ether right now about this deconstructed way of dressing. On the surface level, it’s easy, with minimal effort and this sorta happenstance, devil-may-care attitude about putting clothes on our bodies. But dig deeper, and it’s likely a response to the absolute onslaught of styling advice that seems to have taken over the internet in the past several years. At some point, outside opinions become overwhelming, clouding our judgment and weighing us down—both in psyche and in style. We have been over-optimizing our closets for a while now, and maybe it’s time to walk away. Maybe it’s time to put on anything we like, stop fidgeting with it, and walk out the door in a state of dishabille.

In short: the first draft of an outfit.

The Unseen

To embrace dishabille is to showcase all the unseen parts of our clothes: the tags, the linings, and the seams. This is not about showing off a label for bragging rights; it’s about the rawness behind how our clothes are made, and all the elements that comprise it. Just as writing brings forward the unseen thoughts, ideas and expressions that the outside world is otherwise not privy to.

WHITE TEE // BROWN OPEN KNIT SWEATER // BERMUDA SHORTS // RAFFIA TOTE // SUEDE FLIPS

We seem to be afraid to show this underground side of our garments; on the one hand, they’re distinctly meant for us, a way for us to classify our clothing and organize our preferences. But there’s beauty in the story behind who constructed your clothing, how they brought it to life, and the details that make it uniquely yours.

SHEER CARDIGAN // WHITE TANK // GREEN PANTS // LEATHER LIP BALM CASE PENDANT // COIN PURSE // VELVET SLIDES

It’s not about intentionally grabbing someone’s attention; it’s about being so focused on other elements of your life that you don’t sweat the small stuff. Elegance is found in acceptance—both in how we dress and in how we write, speak and carry ourselves.

Baring Ourselves

Showing skin can feel vulnerable. We are letting parts of our body do the talking for us. Yet there is a way to bare ourselves that feels more controlled than overt; a peek of a hip bone, a flash of an ankle, or the promise of a shoulder. Baring parts of ourselves is what makes us feel human.

LACE-TRIMMED TOP // SHORTS // MOISSANITE NECKLACE // NET BAG // MESH SLIDE

It can feel scary at times, but warmer weather gives us permission. We can share more of our skin in a way that feels warranted. We can tell a story with how much we share, and we can stop at the first try. No need to keep rewriting something that’s perfect from the get-go.

BLUE BUTTON-DOWN SHIRT // MUSCLE TEE // BOY SHORTS // CROCHET CAP // PHONE STRAP // SANDALS

Sometimes it’s in the way clothes fall on our bodies, the way we drape a sweater or tie a pant. It feels personal and intimate. The truest version of ourself is often the first one; the one we lead with. Editing yourself down too much dilutes who you are, and what you stand for.

Come Undone

Why do we feel the need to finish everything so precisely? Maybe there’s beauty in imperfection, aspiration in letting things just be. Almost like you were halfway through getting dressed, but had to tend to something more pressing; clothes are fun but they’re not everything. We write our own priorities.

BUTTON-FRONT TOP // WRAP SKIRT // LACE BRALETTE // EARRINGS // BEADED BAG // WRAP SANDALS

There’s ease in letting the first draft just be. If it was good enough to pour out of you, maybe it’s just good enough—full stop.

TIE-FRONT TOP // SIDE SLIT GAUZE PANTS // ASYMMETRICAL EARRINGS // RING // TERRY CLOTH POUCH // ROPE SANDALS

Straps, fittings, buttons, zippers, belts—they don’t have to be constrained into place. Not everything needs to feel soigné. Often in life, it’s better to let well enough alone. An unfinished thought can be more powerful than a completed one, just like a misaligned button can signal creativity over carelessness.

The New Intimacy

Being vulnerable in how we get dressed, write, connect or show up in the world is where true intimacy lies. We are daring to open ourselves up to the possibility of the outside world seeing who we really are. In many ways, there’s nothing sexier.

KEYHOLE DRESS // STRAW HAT // RED AVIATORS // STRIPED BAG // RED SANDALS

Intimacy is not always about being vulnerable though; it’s about sharing. You could argue there’s nothing more intimate than these very words reaching you wherever you are in this world. Intimacy also shows up in how you wear your clothes. They’re either armor or a passageway.

SHEER PANTS // BACKLESS TOP // PEARL NECKLACE // MESH GLOVES // CLUTCH // SANDALS

When we express ourselves in whatever creative medium compels us, we are giving ourselves permission to be authentic, bold and even a little brave. A sheer skirt with only our undergarments to carry us through can feel risqué…I just always pretend I’m at the beach.

Honesty

There is perhaps nothing more important to me than honesty (and maybe loyalty.) When we embrace good, honest clothes, we tend to show our true selves most easily. This is why the classic “jeans and a tee” combo will always feel as real and down-to-earth as it gets.

WHITE TEE // JEANS // FLIPPIES // BAG

Leaning into the simplest option is sometimes the best option. It’s something I can easily seem to do when getting dressed, but admittedly struggle with when it comes to writing and other, more emotional parts of my life. No fuss, no muss feels truer—in fashion, and in life.

COTTON TANK // COTTON BRA // COTTON PANTS // MOISSANITE STUDS // FRAGRANCE*

We don’t need to overthink things, work and rework something until it’s optimized to an inch of its life. Some outfits are as easy as a diary entry: honest, straightforward, with nothing to hide, and solely you.

Now is a good time to let you know that what you’ve just read is my first draft of this letter. I resisted the urge to go back and edit it to death, and instead, am choosing to let it live as it naturally poured out of me; in a state of dishabille. Thank you for indulging me today, and for letting me accept that the first draft was in fact, good enough.

Until next week xx

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AFN discount codes for brands linked above: AtPresent (SOGOLE15) // Goldie Tees (SOGOLE15)

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I use affiliate links where applicable throughout my posts, so I may receive a small commission from things you buy (but at no cost to you!) Thank you for supporting me in this little way so I can keep writing every week.

*Occasionally brands send me gifts or incentivize sharing links for a nominal fee. I will always note these with an asterisk, but I would also never feature anything I don’t love and wear on the regular.