Beach Club Bingo
Pack your bags, we're going on a European Tour de Force
Marbella. Cannes. Capri. Ibiza. No, these aren’t discards from Kim Kardashian’s baby name list but instead, some of the most glamorous European summer destinations. The mere mention of these exotic seaside enclaves sends me into a bit of a frenzy. Not just for the promise of relaxation and fun that a beach vacation entails, but especially for the fashion I would pack & wear on said vacation—the heart of which often revolves around what to wear to the iconic beach club du jour. The visions that enter my head at the thought of these far-flung locales are my own sugar plums: bottles and bottles of overpriced rosé, a scruffy DJ wearing a tattered linen shirt unbuttoned down to his navel, striped umbrellas in signature primary colors crammed together denoting where one beach club ends and the other starts, and of course, oodles and OODLES of fresh pasta topped with frutti di mare. Bellissima!
Sadly, I’m not heading to any of these gorgeous beach towns or their chic clubs this summer. Such is life with two little kids. While we’re lucky enough to have my incredibly helpful parents nearby who would watch them in a heartbeat, my boys are still at the age where I feel major guilt leaving them for more than a few days at a time. And if I’m going beach clubbing — I’m not taking little kids….! Summer 2026 maybe?!
So what’s a forlorn beach club princess stranded in a suburban castle townhouse to do?! Why, daydream and make inspired fashion collages, of course!
This Vogue Business article published a couple months ago is my version of summertime porn. It detailed all the incredible pop-ups and beach club takeovers that designers and luxury fashion houses are planning this summer. From the well-loved Loewe x Paula’s Ibiza popping up at Nammos Beach Club in Mykonos to my very own local SoCal brand James Perse taking over Saint-Tropez’s Indie Beach—it’s a veritable playground of fashionable goings-on at some of the world’s most sought-after seaside spots.
If there’s anything I love as much as packing up and traveling to a European beach town, it’s daydreaming about packing up and traveling to a European beach town. So today, that’s what we’re doing. Inspired by these upcoming pop-ups and takeovers, let’s all pack our virtual Rimowas and fantasize for the next few minutes about the oh-so glamorous specimens we may come across at these beach clubs this summer, and what they (and perhaps even we) would wear to revel in the rosé-drenched revelry.
Allora, andiamo!
Jacquemus at Jondal Beach Club, Ibiza
Jacquemus is not-so-slowly becoming synonymous with the luxury resort lifestyle. From its now-famed cameo on Chloe aka Charlotte Le Bon in Season 3 of White Lotus to the beach clubs the brand has already hosted in various glimmering locales like and Saint-Tropez and Monte Carlo, designer Simon Porte Jacquemus knows what he’s doing —and where his customer is at all times. This year sees the cheeky fashion brand popping up at Jondal Beach Club in Ibiza, which has been transformed into a Bananarama Wonderland of branded yellow umbrellas, polka-dotted lounge chairs and even a yellow pétanque court.
The Girl: The Farmer’s Daughter “Studying” Abroad
She’s a sun-kissed siren of highly-curated spontaneity, fluent in three languages: Spanish, sarcasm, and resale value. You spot her before you hear her—gliding into Jondal like a human Pinterest board with perfectly bronzed legs. She’s reading Bonjour Tristesse when the waiter approaches to take her order. “Just a little something light,” she replies (a €42 salade niçoise and a bottle of orange wine, natch.) She checks her Instagram account and finds a DM from Deva Cassel, inviting her to dinner that night. She ignores it.
The Dress Code: Unbothered Chic with a Side of Sea Salt
Her style hearkens her humble roots: sauntering from chair to pétanque court to beach and back in a crochet minidress, her boater hat slightly askew and her bag roughly the size of a breath mint—bc what more could the veritable EIHG protoype need other than lip oil and a vague sense of purpose, right
?! As the sun sets over another €18 cocktail, she picks up her phone and messages Deva back: “Send me a car at 10pm. xoxo”Dior at Il Riccio Restaurant and Beach Club, Capri
Leave it to one of the most feminine fashion houses of our time to add its signature flair to the island of Capri. Dior is not new to the beach club bingo game; last summer, the brand popped up at Bagni Fiore in Portofino and even stateside at the famous Beverly Hills Hotel pool. The focus of these takeovers is always its Dioriviera resort collection, which I’m sure you know by pattern if not by name; the signature toile print that’s graced everything from its book totes to bikinis.
The Woman: The High Priestess of Acquisitions and Aperol
She arrives at Il Riccio while on email triage for a $400M merger back in New York. (She could kill her husband for insisting they still go on this vacation.) She hits send on what she hopes is her closing hail mary, then jumps on a quick face time with her kids before beelining to the bar. She vacillates between a Negroni Bianco and an Aperol Spritz before decision fatigue sets in and she asks the bartender to “scegli per me.” (She luckily picked up more than just an addiction to Prada during her 2002 semester abroad in Rome.)
Dress Code: Whatever Her Personal Shopper at Bergdorf Picked Out
She loves fashion almost as much as she loves boardroom savagery, but these days, who has the time?! Her PS at BG delivered though: sunnies, swimsuit (both Dior, of course), a Janessa Leone straw hat and coordinating tote to haul her iPad, prescription sunnies, prescription Lorazepam (she hates how trendy it’s gotten), and a tattered copy of Ottessa Moshfegh’s My Year of Rest and Relaxation that she’s reading for the fourth time, bc “it just hits different when you’re in Capri and mildly sedated.”
James Perse at Indie Beach, Saint-Tropez
You have to understand my sheer DELIGHT and pride when I read that James Perse, an LA-based brand with a deeply Californian soul, is popping up at Indie Beach this summer. I’m here for the SoCal invasion, esp given that almost all the other brands on this list are mega-luxury bankrolled by giant conglomerates. And it makes total sense, since Indie Beach is known to be more boho chill than sophisticated luxe. Slub cotton tees for everyone!
The Babe: The Barefoot Duchess
You sense her aura as she walks into Indie Beach, or maybe that’s just D.S. & Durga’s Debaser, her signature scent that she vaguely passes off as “something botanical I picked up in Silver Lake.” She orders the O’Coco off the mocktails menu and peppers in a packet of her go-to protein powder*, but truth be told she really misses her Erewhon Coconut Cloud Smoothie. Her last startup failed bc it was too ahead of its time, but don’t worry…she’s consulting now. You overhear her telling her favorite server Hugo that she helps “wellness brands scale without losing their soul,” which basically means she tells matcha founders to embrace scarcity marketing and see a Reiki master. When the DJ plays an ambient remix of Bon Iver, she looks out over the sea and whispers to herself, “This is why I left LA.” (She hasn’t. She lives in Laurel Canyon and owns a second home in Montecito where yes…she’s friendly with that Duchess. By the way, she didn’t care for the jam. Too sweet.)
Dress Code: Mohawk General Meets G.Label via TRR
She’s wearing a James Perse ribbed tank (a gift from Brandi, they both see Liana), a sarong she got in Kauai two summers ago but tells people is vintage, and The Row’s controversial Dune flip flops (she doesn’t get why!?). She applies reef-safe sunscreen to her shoulders every 90 minutes in between bites of cucumber and fennel salad—one of Indie’s cult dishes. But it’s not so much her fashion you notice, rather her enviably calm demeanor—almost reminiscent of someone who’s ghosted a Forbes 30 Under 30 nominee. She’s got a giant Toteme tote, but it’s relatively empty—save for her go-to face mist, a Moleskine to jot down Substack post ideas (last week she hit #4 on the rising Culture chart), and two crystals she never leaves home without.
Loewe Paula’s Ibiza at Nammos Beach Club, Mykonos
I cannot conjure up images of beach clubs and summertime fashion without thinking of one of the absolute OGs in this space — Loewe. The brand’s collab with Paula’s Ibiza (the island’s go-to boutique in the 70s and 80s) has been ongoing since Summer 2017 and every year, I feel like I might die if I don’t buy it all?! Via this partnership (the brainchild of Jonathan Anderson btw…le sigh), Loewe has quickly become a resortwear brand of the highest magnitude, complete with pop-ups and beach club takeovers galore the past few summers. This year sees them take up residence at Nammos Beach Club in Mykonos, just a stone’s throw from their island boutique.
The Muse: La Femme d’Uncertain Origin
You hear an intoxicatingly loud laugh and turn to find none other than a mysterious woman whom the entire Nammos staff seems to know quite well. Maybe she’s born with it (the money so old that it predates Greek democracy), maybe it’s Tom Ford? Her last name has an umlaut and she travels with her own tin of sardines, which she gingerly eats in between swigs of her G&T—all while ignoring calls from Cultured (they’re after her for a feature following her latest exhibition.) She currently splits her time between a restored olive mill in Puglia and a converted painter’s studio in Lisbon. She thinks social media is “for children.”
Dress Code: Wonderfully Wacky High-Octane Demi-Couture
You clock her white dress…current season Loewe Paula’s Ibiza, which tracks. Her jewelry includes a ceramic pendant she glazed herself in Mallorca, a faded tattoo of a swan on her bicep, and a vintage Cartier anklet gifted 8 years ago by a woman named Martine—no further explanation. Out of her beach basket pokes Rilastil SPF 50, a Pucci towel, and the current issue of Apollo, which is ever so slightly water-warped (from the gin, not the ocean). Elective exile, she sighs in relief to herself, before summoning over the bartender to order another round.
Dolce & Gabbana at Casa Amor Beach Club, Saint-Tropez
We’re back in Saint-Tropez with Dolce, admittedly a far different vibe from the laid-back luxe Cali scene over at Indie Beach just 10 minutes down the road. If it’s one brand that’s truly connected to bright, bold, unabashed summer glory, it’s D&G. From its zealous use of lemons, cherries, and Maiolica tile prints on its dresses & skirts to its unapologetic rendition of Italian glamour…if Dolce isn’t doing a beach club takeover this summer, does the genre even exist?!
The Signora: The International Party Girl
“Darling you’re craaaaazy!!!!” reverberates across the loungers at Casa Amor, and you turn to see a sparkling contradiction of European glam and delusion. She’s yukking it up with a loud group of Italian men, all wearing Brunello Cucinelli linen while chain-smoking MSs. You try to place her accent but can’t; is it French? Italian? Geneva boarding school with a slight hint of Dutch nobility? Before you figure it out, she’s at the bar, ordering a Bellini “but only if the peaches are chilled, darling. Not frozen. I beggggg of you!” She refers to Saint-Tropez as “The Village,” and complains that it’s “a disaster now darling, disastrooooo!,” all while air-kissing a nepobaby influencer named Isabella.
The Dress Code: La Dolce Vita, Tax Evasion Edition
She wears Dolce like it’s her birthright (prob bc her godfather is Stefano). She’s always in head-to-toe lemons, leopard, or lace, and her dress flutters like she’s perpetually caught in a luxurious breeze…or perhaps that’s just the whisper of scandal from her recent divorce? Her necklace is a gift from Giancarlo…or maybe it was Luca? No, no, Paolo, darling! You can’t quite place who she reminds you of bc you’re too distracted by her perfume. Just as it dawns on you — Amalita Amalfi from SATC!!—she’s disappeared via tender headed for Giancarlo’s Paolo’s yacht. “Arrivederci, darling!,” you faintly hear amidst the DJ’s remix of Miley’s Nothing Breaks Like a Heart.
I don’t know about you, but I’m packing my bags as I type this. Ciao, darlings! Fino alla prossima settimana! xx
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*It’s rare but occasionally brands send me gifts. I will always note these with an asterisk, but I would also never feature anything I don’t love and wear on the regular!
This. Is. So. Fun!!! Are you writing a book? Because you should be! Love the characters and love your outfit pics! That little red gap set is calling my name.
I’ll be La Dolce Vita, Tax Evasion Edition, I have great toes for toe rings 😜 JK JK! This was such a fun and entertaining read!!!!! You never disappoint